Hi everyone. Normally I would begin an episode with some commentary about the upcoming subject, perhaps a scenario to set the scene of what this is about. This episode however, is different. Because of the sensitive nature of this episode I am going to put a trigger warning out right now, before I start. This episode deals with a very sensitive subject and that is one of sexual abuse, but abuse with a slight difference.  And some of these people’s experiences are very hard to listen to. So for those of you out there, female or male – just a warning that this could trigger some emotions for some of you and if this is the case, then perhaps you might want to give this episode a miss. It is not now, nor is it ever my intent to cause emotional distress to people.

This subject of this episode is one that is not often discussed, but is something that actually is not at all uncommon for people, both female and male to experience. So I’m giving you the option now of choosing whether or not to continue with this episode, with the pre-mentioned warning in mind. Having given that warning – are you still willing to walk with me into this part of the Shadowlands and see what awaits us there? Then let’s begin.

Let me set the scene for you. You are in the safety of your bed. It is nighttime, when suddenly you are awakened from a very sexual dream, where you have seen yourself having sex with a most desirable woman or man, depending on your preference. For a minute you think oh, that was just one of those dreams and shut your eyes again to return to sleep. But then you realize that what you thought you were dreaming about, was actually happening to you right this minute. Only, you are alone in your bed. There is no physical person with you, but yet you can feel the weight of another person weighing your body down, in some cases holding you down, preventing you from moving. You can feel the physical touch of their bodies interacting with yours. But you cannot touch them, cannot feel them yourself. In some cases, you also hear the sounds they make, and can see your skin being moved as they touch your body. When the attack is over, you lay there, in most cases terrified, and feeling traumatized, and vulnerable.

You are terrified, you’re terrified as you realize that you have no control over what is happening to you. How do you fight something you cannot see, but most definitely can feel? This is the situation that many people have found themselves in.  Sexual assault is a common reality in this world, we hear about cases all the time. However, sexual assault by a spirit is not at all uncommon, but is rarely talked about. Because, we all know how difficult it is for a victim of sexual abuse by a living person to be heard and worse, believed. Who is going to believe an assault by an unseen, but definitely felt entity? Who do you tell? Who will believe you?

Victims of sexual assault by an entity are left with all the same feelings that a sexual assault victim of a living person feels. Shame, vulnerability, terror, insecurity, and a myriad of other emotions. I am not saying that one is worse that then other, because to my mind sexual abuse is sexual abuse. The only difference is; that how can you fight something you cannot see? And how do you stop them from returning again and again?

My reason for doing this particular episode is to give all the victims of spirit sexual assault, and there will be many listening to this episode, a voice. To let them know that, whilst they may feel it, they most definitely are not alone. They are not. That there are many others who have or who are currently experiencing this very thing.

The Incubus & Succubus

This is not at all a new phenomenon, for centuries the terms Incubus and Succubus were enough to strike dread and fear into the hearts of most people. These mostly nocturnal evil, so called, demonic beings who preyed on the helpless and vulnerable people, sexually assaulting them in their sleep, or in their wake states, were the stuff of nightmares. They were talked about in hushed tones, so as to not draw their attention to the speaker. But what are they precisely and how did they come to be named? Let’s look at the terms Incubus and Succubus and what they mean? What precisely are they?

The word incubus is derived from Late Latin incubo “I lie on top” and from incubare “to lie upon” The Encyclopaedia Britannica defines an incubus as a demon in the form of a male who seeks to have sexual intercourse with woman. The female version of this being who preys on men, is called a Succubus.

In some legends, incubi and succubi are said to not actually be different genders, but the same demon who is able to shape shift into either sex, dependent on his prey and their sexual preference.  It was thought that the demon as a succubus, would force male ejaculation and take the sperm gathered from the ejaculate and place that into a female victim, thus possibly impregnating her.  If the female became pregnant as a result of this, then the offspring was regarded as half-human and called a Cambion.  Apparently Cambions are born normally and appear to be fully human, until about the age of seven years old, after which they are supposed to begin to show their demonic origins more overtly. The legendary magician Merlin, was supposedly a Cambion.

The earliest recorded mention of the incubi, comes from Mesopotamia at around two-thousand-four-hundred BC. And is mentioned in the Epic of Gilgamesh.  Gligamesh’s father was said to be Lilu  Who was supposedly an incubus. The male version of Lilu was called Lilitu.

Later on they began to be debated in early Christian tradition. St Augustine, was supposed to have said in the book De Civitate Dei (“The City of God”), published early in the fifth century AD;

“There is also a very general rumor. Many have verified it by their own experience and trustworthy persons have corroborated the experience others told, that sylvans and fauns, commonly called incubi, have often made wicked assaults upon women.”

Incubus were also mentioned hundreds of years later by Thomas Aquinas, in his book Summa Theologica , which written from between twelve-sixty-five until twelve-seventy-four and again hundred of years after that by King James in 1597, in a dissertation entitled Daemonologie which was a study on demons and what methods they used to bother humankind. It also included other beings such as werewolves and vampires.

However, do not make the mistake of thinking that the incubi and succubi are merely creations of the Christian religion, they are not. There are many variations of these beings going by different names around the world. For example, in the Turkish culture they are known as the ‘Karabasan’, and are also associated with sleep paralysis as mentioned in my episode on sleep paralysis, I called Riding the Witch. In Assam, a province of India, they are known as ‘Pori’. In South Africa, they are called the ‘Tokolosh’. In Hungary they are called a lidérc. In Germany they are called the ‘Alp’ In Chile the Trauco. So there are many different names for these beings throughout the world.

Of course, it could also be said that these beings are used as excuses to explain away unwanted pregnancies, particularly in countries, societies, and times where premarital sex was, or is, absolutely taboo – and could also have been an excuse to cover real-life rapes, incest, or illegal trysts between lovers. And, in some instances this probably was the case. But not in every case.

The incubus or succubus is said to be able to:

• Enter homes uninvited and can take on the appearance of other persons as previously mentioned
• Often these visits start as pleasant, sexual dreams where the entity will often take the form of whomever is most desirable to the victim
• They will often visit the same victim repeatedly, although many are simply one off experiences
• The incubus (or succubus) is said to drain the energies from the person they are performing the sexual intercourse on, in order to feed itself. It’s said by some that the incubus has an unnaturally cold penis.
• In religious and many cultural traditions, repeated sex with an incubus or succubus, can result in the physical deterioration and even eventual death of the victim, due to their energies being siphoned off by the entity. So in some respects you could call them vampiric-type parasites. There are examples of this in the episode.

In more recent times psychiatrists and sleep disorder specialists have given their thoughts to the topic. Writing articles in notable magazines such as Psychology today. Mostly putting the experiences down to sleep paralysis and hypnogogic or hypnopompic hallucinations – which are, when you are just waking or just falling asleep in this case, ascribing the victims feeling of being pinned down or unable to move. OR they say it is because the patient is schizophrenic and is again, merely hallucinating. Or that they are merely nocturnal emission or ejaculation, commonly called ‘Wet dreams’, which is a perfectly normal physiological function of a healthy human body. None of them look toward the spiritual aspect of the experience, and in fact most disregard it completely.  In an article written by a group of three psychologists when discussing such a case in two-thousand and eighteen, published in the Industrial Psychiatry Journal they said of one of two case studies on the subject, that they presented in their paper:

“A 18-year-old male, from middle socioeconomic status, who had no family history of any mental illness presented with an insidious onset and continuous illness of 3 years’ duration…. In addition to the symptoms listed, he elaborated about someone having sexual intercourse with him, against his will. On mental status examination, the patient appeared to be very much distressed with his psychopathology. He described the phenomenon of auditory hallucination (commanding and discussing type) and thought broadcast. In addition, the patient explained that at night, when he would go to his bed, he could feel the sensation of being touched by a female, whom he would describe as a good-looking woman. He would be able to feel his private parts being touched, leading to erection and ejaculation. As per patient, he did not want this experience, this would happen against his will, would feel guilty about having such an experience and having sexual contact with an unknown female, and he was fully convinced about having such an experience. Very occasionally, he would get up from the sleep, after this experience and remain distressed and fearful.”

But are these experiences all a product of people’s imaginations, the result of a psychological illness, or are they very real experiences? And if they are real experiences what is causing them? Are they as previously mentioned some form of ‘demonic’ being, an entity that has never had a physical body? OR are they merely opportunistic, very human spirit that were perhaps rapists or otherwise lower energy beings when alive? Could it be a combination of both?

I have some guests, some of whom have requested understandable anonymity who have bravely agreed to share their experiences, some in person. some with me sharing their experience with you all. Some of them shared their experiences in YouTube videos. Links to their videos can be found on this episode’s website page on the podcast website – www.walkingtheshadowlands.com. They kindly gave me permission to use their experiences in this episode.

But before I do start sharing people’s experiences, it is actually interesting to note that a number of fairly well known faces from the field of entertainment, men and women, have all stepped forward and talked about their personal experiences. Before I share them, I’d like to add, that not all of these sexual encounters are terrifying, even if they were not asked for.

For some of the victims, as with any rape case, their bodies reacted to the physical stimuli, against their will, causing orgasms. These generally were in the cases where the victim was not terrorised. However, I am not going into salacious details. That is not what this episode is about, it is about bringing to public attention that this is a very real thing, so that those women and men who have had, or are experiencing this in their lives at present.  Or, who did experience it at some stage do not feel so isolated and alone. And perhaps it may even begin a healing process for them. One that all sexual assault victims need to go through, whether that was caused by a living person, an entity that has never had a life on this planet, a physical body. Or whether this was from a once living, opportunistic, human spirit.

And finally before I start sharing experiences, I should add that not all sexual encounters with spirit are non-consensual rape. Some people deliberately seek out such experiences, and enjoy them – often preferring them over human sexual encounters. Yes, that actually does happen. I am sure that many of you may have heard of the case of the woman who married her spirit, pirate lover? No? Let me enlighten you then.

In 2016 a woman by the name of Amanda Teague, hit world headlines when she allegedly married the ghost of a supposed pirate who died three hundred years ago. She was interviewed on various TV shows in the UK and worldwide. There’s a link to a number of articles about her on this episodes page on the podcast website at www.walkingtheshadowlands.com. However, in two-thousand and nineteen, she divorced him via an exorcism, after she claimed he was actually an energy vampire and that her physical health had deteriorated markedly and that he had become violent and tried to kill her when she tried to end the relationship. Amanda is not the only woman to have talked openly about relationships with spirit another woman by the name of Amethyst Realm spoke to ITV This Morning about her multiple relationships with spirit lovers.

Probably the most well know and documented case of sexual assault by an entity, was from a book of the investigation by the author Frank Defelitta, in nineteen-seventy-eight.  It was actually made into a movie called ‘The Entity’ The book was the story of a woman by the name of Doris Blither who was raped repeatedly by an entity. On this episode’s page is a link to a documentary on the back story of this case from the researchers.

Oh, and by the way. Were you all aware that there is a name for people who have a sexual attraction for ghosts? It’s called spectrophilia and its sort of classified as both a phenomenon and a fetish depending on how the term is used.

All of these woman, were ridiculed and treated with scorn and incredulity, for the most part by, the media for speaking out about this. Or simply accused of wanting attention. Or, having a psychiatric disorder of some description. Which is one of the reason why many victims of such encounters do not speak out. Because, they fear being treated like this on top of any other distress their experience may have given them. So some celebrities who have talked openly about their sexual encounters with spirit are:

• Natasha Blasick who was interviewed on the This Morning TV show I have a link to the interview on this episodes page on the podcast website. She said, she did not ask for it, but said she found it really pleasurable and enjoyed it.
• Lucy Lui of Kill Bill fame and Charlie’s angels – told the US Weekly magazine in nineteen-ninety-nine that she had a sexual encounter with a ghost whilst trying to nap on her futon.
• Singer Ke$ha has said that she also has had sex with a ghost, which was the subject of one her songs called ‘Supernatural’

However, don’t think it’s only woman.

• Singer Bobby Brown once had an interview for the TV show 20/20 following the death of his and Whitney Houston’s daughter Bobbi Kristina. He stated to the interviewer: “I bought this mansion in Georgia… this was a really, really spooky place,” Brown said. “But yes, one time, I woke up, and yeah, a ghost. I was being mounted by a ghost.”
• Actor Dan Ackroyd in a two-thousand and ten blog post for the Huffington Post admitted that he’d “felt an unseen presence… in my bed no less, when we lived in Mama Cass’s Hollywood estate,”
• Professional Basketball player Metta World Peace, in Halloween weekend of two-thousand and sixteen, was staying at a hotel apparently known for a particular spirit who liked to touch men, he said; “The ghosts were all over me. I just accepted it, they touched me all over the place.”

So this experience is not at all uncommon, however the celebrities who have shared their experiences have all been ones, they may not have asked for, but they definitely enjoyed. This is not the case for most encounters.

Anon’s Experience

Hi Marianne.  I had this experience years ago… About 2000… I moved to a new apartment. I hadn’t put my bed together yet, I had the mattress on the floor and I was trying to fall asleep … I was laying on my stomach. With my eyes closed but still awake, I remember feeling a body on top of me.. I couldn’t move… I felt the breath behind my neck… I felt his arousal on my butt.. He felt tall and big. I was scared but tried to stay calm and prayed…. It was all too vivid and real. I felt the weight, the body warmth, the breath…… Then someone knocked on my door and it was suddenly gone… I was very scared to fall back asleep after my company left but I felt it 100%.

Business Girl Bosses Experience 

Business Girl Boss

So, yeah. Um, Okay. So like I was telling you guys, this story happened back in 2014, and I don’t know if I should be saying this. So, so this day that it happened, Um, just a beautiful day. It was like super sunny outside, nice and everything. And I was actually babysitting that day. So I was taking care of my nephew. I was babysitting him. It was daylight. Just keep that in mind that it was daylight. It wasn’t like night time or anything. ‘Cause, they say when this happens, it’s usually in la noche.  So, anyway, I was in that room that used to be my room over there, the one in the back. But anyways, so that day. I was in bed and my nephew fell asleep. I was dead awake. You guys, like I was awake. I had my eyes open. I was on my phone and, you know, I was just awake. So it wasn’t like I was dreaming, or like I could have been asleep thinking and everything after that, like, um….

So I was awake. Keep that in mind throughout the whole story that I was awake, I was not asleep or anything like that. Yeah. So I was laying down like, like facing up. So I was like, okay, this looks creepy, but I was like this, right. [displays laying flat on back with arms outstretched] I mean, if he was right here on my arm and he fell asleep, so then. This might be like weird and gross, but it’s what happens. I’m going to tell you guys how it happened. It kind of just happened so fast. Like I just feel like it happened so fast, but, um, I was just laying down, and all of a sudden, like I was awake again. I just have to keep saying that because I feel like it’s so important. Like I was awake you guys. So, yeah. And all of a sudden I felt something like – Oh my God, I feel like, Ugh. I feel like throwing up now. Okay.

I don’t know if I should be talking about this, it’s kind of weird? Maybe, because like, I’m so close to where it happened. Um, I fell something like kind of crawling up on me, and it was like heavy. The thing is I, though when it happened, I didn’t feel scared. I wasn’t really like scared or anything. I was just. Like I felt something crawling, crawling up on me. The moment that I felt it crawl up on me. I couldn’t move. I couldn’t talk. I couldn’t do anything, but my eyes were open so I could see everything. So I couldn’t move. I couldn’t talk, but I could see everything. And everything looked the same. Like I could see my room, it was daylight. I could see everything. I could see my nephew, like through the corner of my eye.

So basically I could see everything, but this is where it got creepy. Um, as hell I literally saw it was like a black shadow, but it was in the shape of a mans –  I could see it was a man figure, but it was all black. So you couldn’t see like actual features or anything. It was just all black. You hear noises? It’s just my dog. So yeah, I saw the black figure and that was when I was like, what is going on? But I couldn’t say anything. I couldn’t move. But I wasn’t scared. It was kind of like, I felt that, um, how do you say it in [speaks Spanish phrase], but in my mind, I was still like, what, what the hell is this? Like, what’s going on for?

I was just there laying down and I felt this thing come up on me, but I couldn’t do anything about it. So it was coming up. Like I saw it going towards me. So like, it was crawling up from my feet all the way up, but I saw it coming towards me. So then, after that this was going to be kind of like nasty and you guys might –  I don’t know what you guys are going to think or whatever, but I’m telling you how it is. So I felt something there. Um, so yeah, I felt like, let’s say this is my body, right? This is my body. This is my head. It’s there, my feet. And this is Gina –  Gina.

So this is the thing, right? This is the black demon I felt too like coming up here and he stopped right here and I felt it. I felt stuff. So then he was moving up and it happened, like, I don’t know how to explain this you guys, like, it’s kind of embarrassing, but I literally, I felt everything like it was happening. And now that I’m thinking about it kind of want to cry, but like, yeah, it happened. And, um, okay. It went on for like –  I would say just if you probably like a minute or two minutes or something, it wasn’t like extremely long, but it happened and, and, um –  yeah, this is kind of awkward talking about. So, so after that, when that happened, it stopped. Like I said, it was like, it just felt at leave and it’s okay. I felt it leave and I was free again. And I was in shock. I couldn’t like I could move now I could talk, but I was in shock. I was in a state of shock, so I couldn’t get myself to do any of that.

So I was literally just there, like what the hell happened? Like, you know, like what just happened. So I. I was there for like minutes, just like that, because keep in mind that I had my nephew, right next to me. So I was like, was I dreaming what was going on? But I knew that I wasn’t dreaming. I knew that it was all real.

And so when I actually, so when I finally got myself to move, got up and I left the room that same day and the night we went, I went over to my Tia’s house, which is where we would all meet up, like all my cousins or anything. So I went to my Tia’s, and then. I have this, this is another crazy thing. Like some shit I can say so many story times, but I have this like family, um, what would it call it?

She’s like my cousin. So she’s already older, like way older. So she sees like, or she feels the spirits and everything. Um, she feels spirits and all that. So I, I told all my cousins about what happened. And they were all freaked out. Like what the hell? You know, there was just so like intrigued by it. Like, like why didn’t blah. Like they didn’t even believe me kind of, but I don’t lie about this stuff. I really don’t. So that cousin that – she’s like, I guess you could call like a medium or psychic. I don’t know.

She –  I told her everything and everything and also just another little like, disclaimer, I had never heard of anything like this happened before. So, like I had never heard of anything like this. I didn’t know it was something that happened. I didn’t know. It was like possible. I just, I thought I was crazy. So I told her, and she told me that it was an incubus and I didn’t know what an incubus was. So I, she explained to me what it was. She told me that an incubus, I guess it’s like a demon that assaults women, or like, um, sexually assaulted them, rapes him. And it targets woman, I guess. I think there’s like another one for man. I’m not, I’m not sure if that’s a succubus, but I know that incubus is targeted to women.  So I was scared. I was like, why did this happen to me? …. never anything like those where they actually like rape you.  So, that was crazy.  And I was so scared after, when I found out what it was, because I didn’t understand why it was happening to me. I was so scared that I was looking up.  And this might sound ridiculous to some of you guys, but I was in fear.  So I looked up if I can get pregnant, because you never know what this type of shit.

So I got scared and I was looking up this, if I could get pregnant. Which I know sounds crazy, but you know, I guess I watch too much TV. I don’t know. Still, never really understood why it happened to me because prior to this also I had never had like a, I had never had intercourse, so, um, yeah. So that was a crazy story that I had. I wish – I feel like I could have done better at telling you to you guys, but it was so many details and a lot of stuff that happened in between and like, I don’t know a lot of stuff, so yeah. But. To me, that was just a crazy experience that I’ve had, because, I’ve never – like I don’t have any friends or any family members that have gone through this where they actually like, get, you know, like assaulted by demon. Like if you think about it like a demon.

Taurey’s Encounters

My family and I lived in a house where the previous owners (mother and two daughters) had died in.  When the father came over from Korea, he took his own life just down the road in a supermarket car park.  It was the most horrible tragedy I have every heard. We had a lot of things happen in this house but one that scared me just about to death.  Our master bedroom was the at the end of a long dark hallway and we had to go through our walk in wardrobe to get to our bathroom. A few times I would come out of the bathroom in the dark and the door to the wardrobe would be shut and it was the sort of door that made a noise opening and closing on the carpet but we would not hear anything, even with the bathroom door open.  We also had experience of our shower turning on in the night without the handle moving.  It just seemed to have an awful dark feeling in this area of the house. 

On night I woke up really cold and I felt someone solid and cold lying behind me.  I was on my side facing my partner who was sound asleep, snoring.  I was so scared I could not move and I felt something trying to pull aside my underwear and then felt pressure in that area of probing.  I was terrified.  I started saying Pink Room White Light and then it stopped and I woke up my hubby to tell him what had happened, we were both very scared. This was the same dark presence that my husband saw some nights standing over in the corner of room on my side of the bedroom. 

It was like I had been assaulted, that was one of the last things that happened over the eight-month period we were there, J said we are leaving as “IT” has now attacked me.  It was like “IT” hated me.  I could not stand going up that area of the house and would have to leave a lamp on at night.  The worse thing was that when I felt the probing it was in my anus which caused pain that stayed around afterward.

It’s Just Mars’ Incubus Experience.

 This is going to get a little, um detailed. An incubus is unpredictable and scary, ‘cause, you could be dealing with a demon. It started off at first ­– I mean growing up, I always dealt with paranormal stuff, always! Seeing things. I don’t know if I was sensitive to it? It was just something I always saw and heard, and felt things. Like somebody was watching me. I felt someone was playing with my hair, growing up. Like, I kind of grew up with it and there’s a difference. Because, when you feel like there’s a spirit or something around you, you’ll feel uncomfortable, but that’s fine. But what I was dealing with was on a whole another level. Like I had never felt that scared before. I even left my apartment and moved back into my Mother’s house for six weeks, because, that’s how terrified I was to be alone.  

It started off…. And this is how most descriptions I read on line – I was in my room and I’d be asleep and you could see a shadow figure watching you sleep. And then, as time progressed you’d start hearing things and I even…. I don’t know if like, I’d even see stuff and I don’t know if this is possible, but I’d sometimes see like if there was a smoke or mist in the air.

So, it started with the shadow figure and over time the shadow figure started to get closer and closer to my bed. And, I don’t know. It’s like weird, because, things will happen…. I dunno, things will happen and it only happens around you. So when you try to explain it to somebody else it makes you sound crazy, because, there’s no one else who witnesses it. And, I’ve read books on demonology and the way it works with demons, of how they’ll try to, make people around you not believe you. And then you feel like you’re going crazy, and you get vulnerable. And, they feed on fear.

So…. I’m trying to see how I can put this into words and make sense? Anyways, so it was like…. It was getting closer to my bed and even with all the lights on, I could feel as if someone was crawling into the bed with me! And then, over time I would start hearing a growling noise in my ear. Then it turned into me feeling very sick. I would get nauseous. I was getting really bad migraines. I kept feeling like someone was – if I was going down stairs, like if something was trying to push me. So, I’d have to hold onto the railings and so then I decided to have…. I felt like the growling, and then it turned into me feeling sick, getting my hair pulled. I felt like I was going crazy and I didn’t know what to do, I was like, in tears.

And then it got to the point where I would be laying in bed and it felt like something was trying to spread my legs open and grab my crotch! And I was like, I’ve never had that feeling before. That was so frickin’ weird! I would be laying there and it felt, literally felt, as if somebody was fondling my breasts. And, I know that sounds so weird, but, that’s what it felt like.

So I tried several things to see and I know I shouldn’t have done this, ‘cause, it was the stupidest thing I could possibly do was to test it. Or provoke it. But, I would sit there and just lay still, and look down at myself and I could see my skin moving! Like the indentation of someone touching me and on my breasts. I could feel like a flutter, or like burning in between my legs. So it was very weird.  

And then, I started having these weird dreams where I would wake up. I was sleeping and in my dream I would wake up and I was laying on my stomach. And, I’m trying to get out of bed but something’s holding me down from my waist. And my legs are being ripped apart – not ripped apart literally, but being pulled open and being forced off the bed like something’s going to rape…. Like if somebody was going to rape you and pull you face down, and shove your face into the bed and have you bent over, with your legs spread. And then I would wake up, fucking in sweat, freaking out! And I started having these dreams, and I left my house.

And I saw an Indian Witch Doctor and I had a paranormal team come and investigate. And so they put sage, and did all this stuff. And eventually I just kind of trained myself of how to deal with it. Now, I still deal with it from now and then, but, I don’t let it take control. Because, fear feeds it. I mean feed – Fear feeds it! But, it’s scary like the feeling of somebody trying to get into bed with you. Something growling and pulling on your hair, making you feel sick. And you can’t see it, and you can’t control it! That was like, my biggest fear.

And then it got to the point where I started feeling pressure on my chest and like something had its arms around my neck. Like it’s hands around my neck. And it was scary! It’s a horrible thing! Because, when I lay down I can literally see the indention of the pillow going down where someone is –  Like, like if somebody is straddling me with their knees on either side of my hip and they’re putting their hands on each side of my head, and I feel breathing on my neck! So…. You tell me, if you’d want that? Something that’s doing that! That you can’t see!  And you get this overwhelming feeling all over, that’s just like scary. You can see the blankets move down and move, like as if somebody’s touching something around my crotch, and around my head. 

What the Indian Witch Doctor – he helped me mentally. Because, if you break down, that’s what it wants. It wants somebody vulnerable and somebody it can overpower. That’s my experience with an incubus.   

GraceofGod6

The first time, I woke up in the am and when I sat up to go to the bathroom I noticed it felt like I had had sex. Really rough sex. Confused, I use the bathroom, wipe and while sitting there I kept asking myself why my vag felt like that. Weirded out, I shook it off and went on about my day. A few months later I was having a conversation with my spiritual mentor about all sorts of different topics. We find ourselves on the subject of sex and this and that when she begins to explain to me what a incubus and succubus were and I immediately thought back to the day I woke up feeling strange down there. Fast forward to a few months later. Same thing happened, I woke up in the am, picked up my phone to check it and immediately felt like someone or something had had sex with me. And not just regular sex, like rough violent sex. I immediately began panic because at the time that these 2 incidents happened, I was living with my family, didn’t have a boyfriend, and hadn’t hooked up with anyone the night before so it was no reason for me to physically feel like this. I’d also like to add that I was going on 3 years celibate so there’s that. I hopped on google to learn more about them and to read about other peoples experiences jus to make sure I wasn’t trippin. I prayed against whatever it was, called my spiritual mentor and prayed with her about too and it hasn’t happened since. This was 6/7 years ago…

Side note: I grew up in the church but I identify with being more of a spiritual person than a follower of any particular religion. Me talking about prayer is in no way trying to make this about religion. But religion or not, I firmly believe that evil spirits exist and are all around.

Anon Audio

Schizophrenic Daze

These are very traumatic.  It doesn’t sound like it would be, it sounds like it would be something enjoyable.  It’s not, it’s like being raped.  Except you feel like it’s something that you want to participate in when it’s happening.  They make you think that you’re with somebody desirable.  You find them very attractive and they, you can’t resist them.  You instantly have to participate in a sexual act, and then I will say it’s almost instantly revealed, by taste and smell.  That they are actually, an incubus or succubus, whatever the case may be. And in my experience, as soon as that happens, they pull away from you and they laugh.  Really evil laughter.

The other night I had a really bad one.  Where, and usually when they reveal their self, you can see they’re like for me anyway, they have a slimy coating.  It’s a very Milky, slimy, um, substance it’s putrid. I mean, it makes me nauseated just thinking about it.  It’s an out of this world kind of smell that I can’t even it’s like, it’s like trying to imagine a new colour.  I mean, you know, black, Brown, orange, white, yellow, green, you know, these colours and pretty much any colour is going to be a variation of one of the eight basic colours.

But, imagine that, but with smell or taste, trying to imagine something you’ve never tasted before you never smelled before.  And it’s something very vile, and it’s very spiritually assaulting.  It’s traumatizing.  My PTSD kicks in every time this happens. And, but anyway, last night before last I had one an encounter, and sometimes I’ll wake up screaming, crying. I just wonder if anybody else is having these experiences? 

And just in case you think it’s all females, that was Schizophrenic Daze’s experience.

Anon

I’m in a situation that has – it is extremely traumatizing.  So over a year ago, I started having – I thought they were dreams and they were once a week or so.  And – it’s really hard to talk about.  I would be laying in bed and I would feel these big hands reach like through the mattress, almost like the mattress was grabbing a hold of me. And I could tell that the hands were like the size of like my whole back end. Like they were huge!

And he would…. You would…. It was so scary that I couldn’t move. I couldn’t scream. He will never show me his face.   Recently, I got to see his eyes, but I don’t, I still don’t know what he looks like. It escalated to the point. It was almost every day I started having, paranormal things happen in the back ground.  Like kind of in my house.  Things being thrown, door slamming, knocking on a door behind me while I’m putting my makeup on.  And I’m in a really good mood, you know, at that time there’s nothing that should be going on. I’m not fearful, but, this just gives you kind of an idea.  And I had no idea what an incubus was. had no idea. I, over a year ago when this started and I’ve been in this house thirteen months, fourteen months. So when this first all started, um, there was nothing particularly sexual.  It was profoundly intimate because he would, get me while I was sleeping.  And I didn’t have the control of my mind necessarily, to ward him off or to defend myself.   And I do understand, he knew that. And it’s weird when I’m in these states, I can tell what he’s thinking.  I can, I can tell who he, who he is.  It’s hard to explain, but it’s like, I know him.   

Which makes it more terrifying, because, I’ve never met anybody so absolutely soulless. So empty, and so cold. And absolutely so dark that it pierces you.   It pierce’s every sense of your being.   Absolutely the most terrifying thing I’ve ever encountered in my life.

Two weeks ago, Uh, my daughter is a big gamer. She was playing video games on the couch and, um, she was on the loveseat. I was on the couch. I brought my pillow and my blanket out and I laid down, and she said I fell asleep. She said, Mom, you – she’s almost 20, by the way –  she said you sat right up and you were breathing heavy. She said, I’ve never seen you do that before you just sat there, breathing heavy with your eyes closed and just sat straight up and then laid back down.  And then I popped up. I guess it was about 10 or 15 minutes later and said, I have to go to my room.  I have to go to my room.  And she was like, well, why don’t you stay out here with me?  You know, she tried to wake me up when all of that happened.  I guess I didn’t come to, I insisted on going to my room and I did.   So long story short, I came to my room within an hour.  Okay.  So I came to my room.  And, it wasn’t very long.  It was maybe an hour and I had a terrible experience. Horrible. And I realised he was back.

He scrunched me up into a ball.  He let me open my eyes at one point, and I saw that my leg was straight out.  And the rest of my body was just crunched up as tight as he could get me.  And he was just showing me what he was capable of.  I couldn’t scream for her.  I couldn’t do anything.  And after he let me see, then he just.  Nope pulled my whole body just as tight as he could and put his hand over my mouth. And I knew all it took was for him plug my nose and I was gonna die. He made it very clear, that I will kill you. I was trying to scream for my daughter.  I was, I was trying so hard, and I finally was able to like, I guess, make a sound because she came into my room.  And she was like, well, mom …. I’m sorry.

I would say, get him off me.  Get him off of me.  Get him off of me. And she, she got him, she got me awake. She came in and woke me up and she said I was scrunched up in a little ball. Anyway. Okay. So that is the most terrifying experience that I’ve had recently. This just kind of gives you an idea of what I’ve been dealing with.  I’ve been sleeping with a Bible under my pillow since then, and I’ve not had any issues since then.   Now my, my daughter’s dreams escalated.  My health is deteriorating. Things are happening.  We’ve been hearing screams, and growls, and noises we can’t explain in the house.  It also mimics her.  I’ll think it’s her and it’s not. It, it will mimic the people in the house, and then you think it’s them.  And then you go in there and they’re sound asleep.  And you would hear it running through the house.  It’s just awful.  It’s just awful.  I just don’t know if anybody’s been going through anything like this?

I need to stop this before it gets any worse. I do know I’ve stopped it before.  At least suppressed it.  By blessing the house and by taking command of this, basically.  I do know that I’m capable of this.  I know that also I have to be in the right frame of mind to do it.  And right now I’m not, and I think that’s part of it.  And I think it does that to you.  Any who…. Any comments, snide remarks. I don’t really care. I’m not, I’m not, I don’t, I’m not really gonna care. There’s nothing you can do to me that hasn’t already been done. I promise you.

 An Australian Experience

July 30, 2011, Australia, Tasmania. Most people like to refer to my encounter as sleep paralysis or hypnopompic hallucinations, but I disagree. I felt completely aware of my surroundings and everything that was happening.

It was about twelve or one in the morning and my cousin was sleeping in my bed with me. She fell asleep long before I did. Unfortunately, I was having great difficulty going to sleep that night. It almost felt like I knew something bad was going to happen. So I’d say I was lying in bed for a good hour before dosing off. I’m assuming it was about two in the morning at that point.

It only felt like I’d been asleep for a short amount of time when I woke. My cousin was still asleep next to me. Disgruntled at the fact I’d woke up after what only seemed like five minutes of sleep, I went to pull the blankets off me to get a glass of water.

It was then that I realised my whole body was paralysed from head down. I could see somewhat clear as it wasn’t quite dark and I could move my head around. So because I couldn’t move most of my body, I was freaking out big time. I could feel something rubbing the inside of my thighs. My sister’s room was close by, so I faced the door and yelled her name several times to help me to find that my voice was only coming out as a whisper instead. By now whatever it was, was lying on top of me and rubbing my chest area, to say in a more – polite manner.

When it realised I was calling for help, it began hurting me (pinching or biting me; either way it hurt). That’s when I got the feeling it was doing it to shut me up, so I did. That’s when I turned my head straight and saw a black shadowy figure above me. It wasn’t pure black, though; it was almost transparent. And I could see by the shape of the figure that it was male.

Once I saw it, that’s when the real terror kicked in. My first thought was that it was trying to rape me. So I looked down at my left arm and hand, and with all my strength I tried successfully to clench my fist, and with that I lifted my arm up to punch and fight the figure off. As soon as I punched, my body kind of jolted and I threw my head up and sat up in bed. My hand was still clenched and the position in which I punched it. I was so extremely scared by the whole encounter I got up and watched TV until the morning.

I was attacked by an incubus. 

Shawnii Echo

You might think I’m crazy.  I’m okay with that, anyways.  Okay.  So, I was attacked about four times by an incubus.  If you don’t know what a incubus is, a incubus is a demon.  And it preys on women when they sleep –  tries to have sex with them, or rape them.  And then the female version of that is a succubus.  So, go look it up and I’m not making it up.  Just go look it up for yourself.  

I woke up, I have allergies and you know, my nose was stuffy, so I’m blowing my nose.  I woke up at about 3:00 AM and uh, blow my nose.  I went back to sleep when I went back to sleep.  I had this – felt like a dream.  It was very colourful, it just felt like a dream regular dream.  And, I was talking to a friend of mine.  We was just chilling, and then the dream fades away and I’m in my bed.  And I feel a presence on the side of me.  You know, like if you got a significant other and you sleeping, you laying in your bed and, and you know, you, they come crawl up in there.  That’s that felt like I feel that on the side of me and I’m like, I’m tripping, I’m tripping.

And so I’m just like, you know, like doing this number.  And then I woke up.  I woke up, I’m looking around like, okay, nothing there I’m tripping.  Whatever the case may be.  It was a dream. I go back to sleep.  I have another dream like situation and it’s my, my temporary roommate right now.  She’s been coming and waking me up or, you know, saying bye to me in the morning when she go to work.  ‘Cause, I gotta get up and work from home at seven in the morning.  So she’s been waking me up and so the dream was her opening my door saying, bye.  So she says bye, the dream fades away. Then I feel another presence this time, the presence is on top of me.  My chest is pressure. I can’t breathe and I’m screaming her name.  I’m trying to, but I’m muted. There’s no sound coming out of my mouth and I’m just panicking and my mouth is covered and I’m like – You know, I’m just like trying to get it off of me.

And, then I wake up and I’m like, what the fuck?  I even got up, I believe, excuse my language.  And you know, to go look and live room and she’s still up in there.  So going to bathroom, blow my nose, put some little Vicks on my chest and stuff.  And then I laid back down, and go to sleep again.  The third time, it’s like on the side of my bed and I feel the presence of it, but it wasn’t touching me or nothing like that.  And then, so I, I lean over and I’m –  I’m having like this vision of a guy and a little boy.  And the vision felt like that person was whoever my significant other is supposed to be, and you know, our son.  And to me, you know, I long for family and I do want a son. So I just felt like it was showing me my desire.  And, um, it, it calmed me. It made me smile, and then it quickly went away.

And this thing was in between my legs.  I promise you, there was a pressure.  It was like a whole man’s hand, dang, nearly –  Like they was trying to finger me or something like that.  Like it was that.  And then again, covering my mouth and I’m fighting it.  I’m fighting it.  I’m fighting.  I’m trying to get it off of me.  I’m trying to get off of me.  And at this point, like I can’t breathe.  Not only can I not breathe and scream, but now my nose is like permanently blocked.  Like there’s no oxygen.  And so, I felt like I couldn’t fight no more and right when it was like, I was about to give in, I woke up and I mean, like I shot up and like stormed up out of my room.  I started up out of my room, and you know, my roommate was like, what’s wrong with you?

And I didn’t want to tell her I’m like, I don’t want it. I don’t feel comfortable telling you.  She’s like, I felt like I already know, did you just have like a spiritual attack?  And I was like, yeah.  And so I started explaining to her what happened to me and she was like, Oh, that’s an incubus.  And so she explained to me what to incubus and succubus was.

You don’t believe me, that’s fine.  I don’t do anything for views, anything for entertainment.  You know, I was distraught, like crying, real bad.  I felt violated book.  I started like look doing research and watching other story-times the different people that’s had this experience. And some people had been having this experience for years and it’s normal and, and they’re looking forward to going to sleep and having sex with these demons.  Like it’s voluntarily, it’s, it’s consensual, you know?  And some people are, you know, being violated.  So it was scary to me because I don’t feel like I got raped, but I felt like if I would have gave up, it definitely would have happened.

There’s even people saying they’ve been impregnated by this situation. I don’t know. You know how far I believe that, but I know I was attacked and that wasn’t the first time I have experienced sleep paralysis, but not in a sense of something trying to rape me or sexually abused me.  So it was scary.  I think that’s all, um, I’m comfortable with speaking.  I would just say, be careful, do your own research.

Anon – NZ audio

 Anon: Hi, I’m from Hawke’s Bay, in New Zealand. I’d like to tell my story. About 10 or 11 years ago. I was a single mom with three children at home. They used to go to their Dad’s every second weekend. One Saturday morning, the weekend they were at their Dad’s. I was laying in bed having a sleep-in, and it was about 20 past nine in the morning.

I heard this noise like. There was someone in the house. And I thought, Oh, the kid’s are home. And I picked up my ears, but there was no noise. And they didn’t, I thought they’d come to get something before their sports. So I kinda rested my eyes again. Then I heard someone coming into the bedroom, and then I felt something hop into the bed lay behind me and cuddle into me in the spooning position.

And I was like, Oh, my goodness. So I put my hand behind me, and it fell to the mattress. And then I put my arm back cap, but I still knew that there was something there. So I put my hand behind me and it went into –  well, I’m guessing it’s a male, it’s groin, it’s growing area and it did this pleasurable moan. And then I was like, and I was fully awake through all of us. And I was like, Oh my goodness! So I went to jump out of bed. And as I was trying to get out of bed, I was out of the bed –  but I couldn’t see it.  But, it was holding me by the wrists and wouldn’t let me go! And then, so I finally got away and ran to the telephone to call my friend. I was a blubbering mess at this stage.

Marianne: That must’ve been –  how you feel? How did you feel when you realized that what you were feeling against you, that was holding you was not a physical being?

Oh, it was, it was terrifying. And that’s when I started to fight away and to get out of bed. And I was out of the bed and like, it was like, it had it –  I knew it was holding me around the wrists, ‘cause, I couldn’t move. It was absolutely terrifying! So I ran and I called one of my friends who I knew was quite spiritual, and he talked me through it.  But it was absolutely. – ’cause, I knew I was awake the whole time. That was, and yes…. So, but when I came in and hopped in the bed and cuddled into me and I was like…

I don’t know, it’s hard to say at the time. I mean, when I, and I was like, Oh, they can’t be anyone there.  My hand went to the mattress, and then when I did it again, and it hit its groin area and let out this pleasurable moan, I got out of that bed as fast as I could.

It must’ve made you feel quite violated.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But, it also came back another time, but it wasn’t as bad. I think it came back another time I felt get back into bed and cuddle into me, but, I just as soon as I felt it, I fought and I was out of that bed. So every time I used to go into my bedroom, I used to look at my bed to see if there was anything on it, for months. It was really scary whenever, even in the daytime. I’d like – I used to hate going to bed. That’s when I learned the Lord’s prayer, because I used to say the Lord’s prayer. I was like, yeah, ‘cause, I had other stuff happening as well. Like during –  so like, not long after that I’d be in bed, and I’d hear this noise. And like a zoom, and something coming in on me.  And a couple of times before it happened. ‘Cause, I knew I was awake, because, my daughter had woken me up.  Because, I think she felt it. I think she knew something was going on. Yeah. So it hopped in my bed twice. But the second time I just like, I think I told it to F off!

And that was, yeah, it was an awful feeling. And I was, I just hated going in my bedroom, and I’d always look at my bed and yeah…. And. then one night, my auntie was outside my place.  ‘Cause, she used to joke with me the most about it. And then, Oh, we must’ve been out and then – and she just saw me.  The house was dark and she just saw me, the look on my face. And she said to me, you’re actually really scared to go in there. Aren’t you? And I was like, yeah, it was awful. Because, you just didn’t know if it was going to happen again.

I realise that for some listeners this has been a very heavy episode, but I felt it was a very important subject to bring to public attention, so victims of entity rape do not feel so alone or like they were crazy experiencing what they did. Every rape or sexual assault victim, or victim of inappropriate touching needs to have validation and compassion, regardless of whether the perpetrator was a living being, or an entity that has never lived, or an opportunistic, earthbound spirit. My hope is that this does bring you some comfort and peace, and that perhaps it may help your healing journey

I would like to thank every single person who was kind and brave enough to share their experiences with us all. It is not easy for any victim of sexual assault to speak out about what they experienced, let alone victims of entity assault. Thank you all so very much.

In this episode I have used three pieces of music. This one was called ‘The Menace’ By Hill I really like that one. The second one was called ‘The Void’ By Cody Martin and the bumper music was called Abysmal by Bryan Lowry.

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