Empath or Empathetic?

3 Feb 2019

This is a post that I have been meaning to write for a very long time, but for some reason, the timing was never right. I hear so many people saying that they are empaths, and I admit, I cringe a little when I hear that. In actuality, there are very few empaths around, but many empathetic people. There is a big difference. Let me explain a little.

When people say they are empaths, they are referring to a term that largely became popular because of a Star Trek character named Deanna Troy, who was an ‘empath’ employed by the federation and who sat to the left of Captain Picard on the bridge of the ship.

Troy had the ability to feel what people were feeling as if she were them, and in the program, they relied on her abilities to discern other people’s intents and emotional states. Empaths in this program were a specific species, and even then, in the television program, they were quite rare.

The first known use of the term empath in print was in 1956, the year I was born, in a novel by K.M. Ruiz. “Lucas didn’t need to be an empath to understand that the twist to Jason’s voice was fury, grief, and pain.”

The Oxford Dictionary definition of an empath is this: “(chiefly in science fiction) a person with the paranormal ability to perceive the mental or emotional state of another individual.”

So let’s then have a look at what empathy  is….

What is empathy?

Wikipedia states empathy as being thus:

“Empathy is the capacity to understand or feel what another person is experiencing from within their frame of reference, that is, the capacity to place oneself in another’s position. There are many definitions for empathy that encompass a broad range of emotional states.”

So empathy sounds much like connecting with others emotions, putting yourself in their shoes. Empathy is not the same as sympathy though. Sympathy is the sharing of common feelings (as in, having shared the same or similar event as the person).

I once had it explained to me like this: Pity is crawling in the dirt with the person thirsting for water in a desert. Sympathy is providing them with the water they need. I would add to that empathy is understanding what that person is feeling, the fear, the physical need from an emotional viewpoint, and having compassion for them.

Is there more than one type of empathy?

Yes, there are several different types of empathy. The three main ones are as follows:

1. There is Cognitive Empathy. This is awareness and understanding of another’s perspective. Think of the saying “to walk in another’s shoes”.
2. There is Social Empathy. This is when you sense immediately what another person is feeling and is how you create rapport with another person. It is important for any social interactions with another person. It is paying attention to the other person.
3. There is Empathy Concern. This is when you see someone in pain or distress and not only feel emotionally for them but also want to do something to help them.

A psychologist Daniel Goleman, was the man who made theory of emotional intelligence popular among some psychologists and in some mainstream schools of thought. He said that the ability to foster each of these areas of empathy was “ what can help strengthen relationships, personally and professionally.”

So that is what empathy is.

What does this mean in the spiritual sense?

Ok, so this is where many people get confused. Let me try and provide a little clarity around this, as best as I am able to. Many people, for various reasons, claim to an empath – I am not going into the reasoning behind it , as every single one of us is at different stages in our personal learning. Suffice it to say there are many reasons why a person might claim that they are an empath, when actually they are merely empathetic.

People are born with different spiritual gifts and abilities – but as I always say it is like athletes – some are naturally more able to run a marathon, without even training, whereas some of us are lucky if we can run a few feet, and some of us are lucky we can even walk. It is different for each person, and no one person’s spiritual abilities are entirely the same as another. Not better or worse, merely individual to the person.

How does being an empath fit into spiritual abilities?

In order to answer this question, let’s look at different spiritual abilities that can be confused with being an empath:

• Clairsentience (clear feeling) – Clairsentience is the ability to “pick up” the emotions and physical feelings of others. However, a clairsentient may not necessarily feel them as if they were their own. But they are aware of them.
• Clairvoyance – The term clairvoyance (comes from the French “clair” meaning “clear” and “voyance” meaning “vision”) refers to the ability to gain visual information about an object, person, location or physical event through means other than the known human senses. Often this takes the form of mental imagery and intuition It is often called ESP or extrasensory perception.
• Claircognizant (clear knowing) – an innate knowing about something – you just know it without understanding where the knowledge comes from.
• Clairalience (clear smelling) – This is the ability for a person to acquire psychic knowledge by means of smelling. They can sometimes smell cigarette, tobacco, food smells, perfumes, or a deceased persons favourite flower.
• Clairaudient (clear hearing) – An auditory form of ESP paranormal information is received outside the range of normal perception through voices, whispers and auditory impressions. Some will hear voices audibly and others receive them through mental impressions.
• Clairgustance (clear tasting) – The paranormal ability to taste a substance without putting anything in one’s mouth. It is claimed the those who possess this ability are able to perceive the essence of a substance from the spiritual or ethereal realms through taste.
• Psychic – this is generally relating to or denoting faculties or phenomena that are apparently inexplicable by natural laws, especially involving telepathy, clairvoyance, or mediumship. (note; all mediums are psychic, but not all psychics have mediumistic abilities). Most these days tend to use the term psychic as a mainly derogatory term for a fortune teller – generally one found at the local fairs and market places, which is a real shame IMO.
• Sensitive – This is a ‘catch-all’ phrase which often is used to refer to any or all of the above mentioned abilities.

So anyone having any, or some of the abilities above to a greater or lesser degree, especially clairsentience, can confuse that with being an empath – for the most part this is not a fault on their part, but a simple lack of education and awareness.

So then who is an empath?

A real empath is a very, very rare person. Certainly not everyone that says they are an empath, actually are. Really they are quite uncommon. I cannot give you accurate statistics, but of every 500 people who say they are, one might be.

An empath is from birth… the ability is from birth and is not generally shut down and gradually opened as is can happen with other abilities. Also one does not generally start to develop empathic abilities at a later age as often happens with other abilities.

A genuine empath can find it really confusing when they first start developing other abilities, as an empath generally is a mix of many abilities + being an empath. Until a person who is an empath stops to examine his or her individual processes to determine if s/he is operating on strictly empathic abilities, or a team of abilities, it’s difficult for them to find ways of controlling the information received.

Isolation. This is why so many who are empaths will self-medicate with drugs or alcohol – or simply shut themselves off as much as they can from society. Perhaps they may be diagnosed with some psychological disorder as they do not ‘fit’ into societies norms. All because unless they know how to shield themselves every single day, their senses become easily overwhelmed. Many live a very hermit-like life to shut out as much of the sensory overload as they can. Some work as healers, to assist where they can. Some help in other ways. Each finds their own path and way of dealing with this ability. MOST avoid being in crowds at all costs, or if they have to be out to do shopping they chose times when there are fewer people around, like early in the morning, or close to closing at night, or if in other countries in the middle of the night where supermarkets may be open 24/7.

Empaths have the ability to take on the mood of whatever situation they are in, or person they are with. For example if they are with an introverted person and their nature is naturally extrovert, then they will take on those characteristics.

I personally believe that many diagnosed as autistic are actually empaths who are overwhelmed by so much sensory input that they shut down to protect themselves.

As a child this is especially hard on empaths as they are overwhelmed by everyone else’s pains, physical feelings, emotions. They are (for the most part) as they are learning, unable to distinguish what emotion, or physical feeling belongs to them, or what belongs to the person they just walked past on the street.

A real empath will not only be aware of what another is feeling, emotionally or physically, but will feel those feelings themselves in their bodies. As an empath grows and matures they can learn to shield themselves to a large degree, and to recognize what belongs to them and what belongs to that chap sitting opposite them on the bus or the train.

Some empaths, find it is all too much and they just simply shut themselves down one way or another. They are incredibly sensitive and often suffer from deep, ongoing depression. This is very sad, but is completely understandable. Think of it like this – as having both a tv station going on in your mind and the vibrations from a loud bass going 24/7… you feel it in your body and in your mind, in fact with almost all of your sensory abilities. It overwhelms you and you cannot stop it.

With time an empath can learn to turn down the volume on the tv and the stereo so they can feel and hear them, but so they are only a background noise – then they can live a relatively ‘normal’ life. Some never can, because they have not had anyone to show them how. That is such a tragedy.

So, I hope this helps you to understand the difference, and there is a huge difference between someone who is a sensitive, someone who is an empath, and someone who merely wants the label for whatever reason. Feel free to ask any questions. If I cannot answer them, because I do not know, I will tell you that as well.